Do not be fooled, I am not that cute in person. I actually resemble a potato. My selfie game is just hella strong.
becoming self aware of your breathing and blinking is the worst thing
have you ever seen someone so attractive it made you mad
90% of my problems would be solved if i stopped over-thinking and being anxious about everything & calmed the fuck down
Blueberries piss me the fuck off
but mashed, they’re PURPLE??
AND WHEN SKINNED, WE SEE THE INSIDES ARE GREEN?????
WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK, BLUEBERRIES?!
"This is why you can’t trust women! They’re so good at makeup and wear it to fool guys into thinking they’re hot!"
shit. girls he’s on to us *washes off makeup to reveal lizard face and climbs up a wall* we will return with a new disguise. soon the power of earthly men will fall